It Takes A Village
Nine to Noon's Kathryn Ryan interviews parenting experts to help you navigate the trends, trials and tough calls of modern family life.
Episodes
Unpacking a child's changing brain
"What were you thinking!?" - the exclamation many parents, caregivers or teachers can make, when trying to decipher what and why kids do what they do.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
What can be done about fussy eaters for parents?
Getting children to eat their veggies, try new foods, and generally get a balanced diet are age-old parenting challenges. From the earliest introduction of solids, to picky toddlers, and growing teenagers, the trials are endless. So how do you deal with a fussy eater, and when does it become a more serious health issue? Registered dietitian Anna Richards has some tips.Go to this episode on rnz.co.
The two wildly different sides of a child's brain (and how to parent both)
Why modern childhood's putting parenting to the test, and why a radical parenting approach is needed to help free kids from constantly responding to their defence system.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Who rules the roost in your household?
Who rules the roost in your household? And when can these accommodations become a problem? Jenny Hale is a senior parenting coach at the Parenting Place.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to help kids adjust to changes to the education system
How do all the education changes affect students and what support might they need? Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Co-parenting arrangements fall through cracks - researcher
A leading researcher says New Zealand's official data systems fail to track the realities of co-parenting and shared care arrangements. Often unseen because they are not counted in the Census, these shared care arrangements are happening in one-in-five households, according to Motu Research's senior fellow Kate Prickett. Parents getting less informal support from the other parent for things like c
Parenting: sharing the mental load
The long-standing friction in parenting - who does the unpaid, administrative, load? The scheduling and the logistics of the kids' lives.
Who signs the form for a school trip, who chooses and buys the birthday presents and then organises the party, who's in the group chat for after school activities?
For the parent doing too much how can they step away, and do less? And for the parent not doing
The value in kids stepping up to stop peers being bullied
Research by the Mental Health Foundation NZ suggests that half of bullying scenarios stop if a peer intervenes.
But how can we teach our kids to be UPstanders - someone who intervenes when someone is being bullied - as opposed to BYstanders?
Kylie Ryan has a clinical background in social work.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How grandparents are vital for the wellbeing of our mokopuna
André Ngapo is learning designer and national coach at Brainwave Trust Aotearoa which focuses giving tamariki the best start in life.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Does the rise of FAFO signal the demise of gentle parenting?
FAFO parenting is all the hype online but what is it and is it the answer for exhausted parents moving on from gentle parenting? Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to talk about social media pressures and the manosphere
The so-called 'manosphere' has been in the headlines following Louis Theroux's documentary into the network of influencers promoting hyper masculine viewpoints and spreading misogyny. These influencers, who were once fringe, are now very much in mainstream.
And while Theroux's documentary focused on the personalities of these people themselves, others are interested in the real life impact on our
Calls for tighter restrictions for online pornography
In New Zealand, there is no age-verification system to prevent of young people viewing online pornography. Often, this content can be graphic, sometimes violent - including coercive or non-consensual behaviour. Therapist, educator and researcher Jo Robertson has called for better safeguards. She joins Kathryn to discuss what other countries are doing - and how parents and caregivers can navigate t
Critical thinking for teens to manage the online world
Repeating mental pathways, giving time to emotions and being a good debater are all key parts of learning to think critically, says an expert in teaching the important skill.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to cut through the noise as a new parent
how do you know what information to trust, where to turn, and how to cut through the noise. Dr Natalie Flynn is a registered clinical psychologist, the author of Smart Mothering - where she dubbed this - "bombardment syndrome", and the co-founder of Parentland, alongside her late husband Nigel Latta.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to teach teenagers about investing and the value of money
Social media is brimming with advice about how to get make money in a hurry - and that can be very attractive to young people. So how best to get teens interested in their money - and how to manage it wisely?Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
What did you do at school today?
Speech and language therapist Christian Wright discusses the difficulty of asking children what they did at school that day and why often they'll simply say "nothing".
Christian and Kathryn explore why this question is so hard for children to answer and how can parents turn it into a back-and-forth interaction, all while building a child's language and conversation skillsGo to this episode on rnz
Ensuring good dental care into adulthood
As children get older and take more responsibility for their teeth, what can parents and caregivers do to ensure good habits through to adulthood? Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Helen Ellis on being a grandchild or grandparent living geographically apart
Do you have to video call grandchildren living overseas? Or perhaps you email your grandparents who are abroad? In the modern world it's common for families to be split over countries and continents.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to help kids understand the internet
Dr Niraj Lal is a Melbourne-based researcher and writer whose new book is aimed at getting kids thinking about how they use the internet, who they interact with and what data is being gathered about them.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Considering a child's right to play in their neighbourhood
Remember the days when children would roam free, playing with friends around the neighbourhood. How can parents encourage their offspring back to outdoor free play?
Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Occupational therapist on the support caregivers of neurodivergent children need
Elana Cohen is an occupational therapist who has two decades experience working with children of all ages and abilities - and their families. She's Nelson based - working for Health NZ's Child Development Service, as well as in private practice. Elana says parents and caregivers need lots of support to help neurodivergent children flourish.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to help kids deal with the back-to-school nerves
Return-to-school nerves can be a normal reaction after the long summer break, but when should parents be concerned and what can they do about it? Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Navigating the pros and cons of school uniforms
Otago University's Dr Johanna Reidy researches the impact of school uniform design and policy on health and educational outcomes.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Parenting: 'I'm bored'
Summer holidays come with plenty of opportunities for children to utter 'I'm bored'. Parenting expert Zhenlin Wang on whether that's a bad thing.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to set boundaries for teens over the summer break
School's out - so what now for the kids? Let them run wild? Kristin Ward is a coach and presenter with Parenting Place. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Sibling rivalry: a normal part of growing up?
Is competition, jealousy, and conflict between brothers and sisters a normal part of growing up? While bickering and nitpicking can be hard for parents, can sibling rivalry also be a way for children to learn life skills? Kathryn talks with Clinical Psychologist and mum of three, Jacqui Maguire.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Understanding the adolescent brain
Wwhen puberty hits and suddenly you don't recognise your own child. Clinical Psychologist Kathryn Berkett on brain development in adolescence.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Things to consider before gifting a child a phone for Christmas
As we barrel toward Christmas, you might be about to make the most of this month's crazy sales days. Perhaps a phone or a gaming device for a young family member makes your shopping list. But before you look to leave one wrapped under the tree - my parenting expert is along with some things to consider before handing out the technical toys. Anna McKessar is an online course producer with Parenting
Can learning to swim make your child smarter?
Some studies have shown not only is swimming great exercise and an essential safety and lifesaving skill, swimming can also positively impact a child cognitively, emotionally, and socially.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
"No one will play with me" - teaching kids about friendship
How to coach children on understanding and making good friendships.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to keep your kids safe this Halloween
Love it or loathe it - it's that time of year when kids roam loose around neighbourhoods looking for fun and sweets. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Parents best role models for an active life
New research has shown children are far more likely to participate in play and sport when a parent is doing it themselves. Research from Sport NZ finds more than half of young people say spending time with family and friends is their top reason for being active - and those kids who like being active with whanau are more likely to meet recommended guidelines for physical activity. Scott MacKenzie i
When toddlers aren't talking yet
Speech and Language Therapist Christian Wright talks to Kathryn about what typical language development in pre-schoolers looks like, when parents should be concerned, and what they can do to help.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Growing Money Savvy Kids
Financial education will be embedded in the school curriculum for years 1 to 10 from next year. For younger children it'll be the basics like want vs need, and what is a bank account. More senior students will learn about budgeting, investment, interest, taxes, and insurance to help to build lifelong financial skills. Neil Edmond is the founder of MoneyTime, an online financial literacy program f
Why you shouldn't ask your kids what job they want when they leave school
How many teenagers know what they want to do when they leave school? Jane Kennelly, the Director of People for Skills Group, says in this era of fast-moving technological change it's hard for anyone to know exactly where the job market's going to go - let alone kids. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Parenting: Teenagers, anxiety & perfectionism
Clinical psychologist Polly Schaverien talks with Kathryn about helping teenagers with anxiety and unhealthy perfectionism.
She says adolescence is a time of exponential growth and development, and the "job" of the teen is to establish their identity, develop socially and learn emotional regulation.
She says parents play a big role - and the first thing they need to do is check their own perfect
Raising assertive children
How to help children to be more assertive and self confident, without being demanding and aggressive.
Clinical psychologist and mum of 3, Jacqui Maguire says assertiveness is a life skill, not a personality trait.
She says children can learn it with practice, encouragement, and role models.
But often parents don't really have a handle on this skill either and assertiveness takes practice for ev
Why cooking and baking with children is a good idea
Cooking and baking with children is a great idea - even if its makes a helluva mess, according to early childhood education research specialist Dr Vicki Hargraves.
She's an early childhood teacher and mother, and ECE research specialist at The Education Hub, an organization that supports teachers with knowledge about best practice.
She says spending time in the kitchen with your children is a gr
The pros and cons of handing out awards to children
What are the pros and cons of handing out awards to children?
From player of the day in sport, to winner of the spelling bee, to Dux of the school.
Dr Elise Waghorn is a Lecturer at R-M-I-T University's School of Education in Melbourne.
She says while awards can reward effort, they can also be unhelpful and lead to a fixed mind set in children.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to help 'covid babies' as they start school
Babies born during Covid-19 lockdowns developed and moved through early milestones under challenging and unique circumstances. Whānau Āwhina Plunket Chief Nurse Zoe Tipa talks about what families can do to help their 4 and 5 year olds as they start or prepare to start school.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
The 'emotional gym': growing your child's resilience muscle
In parenting today, how to raise resilient children who don't wilt at the first hurdle they face. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Parenting: the balance between good cop and boundaries
Neuroscience educator and parenting coach Nathan Wallis discusses finding the balance with boundaries for children and teens while maintaining an open trusting relationship. He says boundaries give children an edge to their world, and teach them what's acceptable. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Helping children (and young adults) with big feelings
Sadness, nerves, jealousy, anger and frustration - just like adults, children feel these emotions, but sometimes don't have the words or skills to deal with them. Gen Muir is a social worker, parent educator, author, founder of Connected Parenting and mum of four boys. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to be a good parent when you're struggling with your own mental health
Parenting can be a challenge at the best of times - but what about when mum or dad are experiencing low mood ? - Clinical Psychologist Ben Sedley with strategies to help
Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Kids and screens - tips for parents
Owning a smartphone before age 13 is associated with poorer mind health and wellbeing in early adulthood, according to a global study of more than 100,000 young people.
The study was published earlier this week in the peer-reviewed Journal of Human Development and Capabilities, and found that 18- to 24-year-olds who had received their first smartphone at age 12 or younger were more likely to repo
What's it like being a grandparent in your 30s?
At 37, many people are still getting to grips with being a parent. Matty Acton was learning how to be a grandparent.
He and his wife Esther have two kids, aged 8 and 11, and he's also stepdad to Esther's 23 year old son Ethan - who became a dad himself last year.
Esther and Matty, who's also a breakfast radio host on Brisbane's B105 radio station, have been documenting their journey on their pod
Parenting: Turning experiences into lessons
Sara Segar discusses how parents help turn experiences into learning for their children. She runs the Experiential Learning Depot in Minnesota and developed a range of resources for teachers and families, when she realised there was a desire for hands-on, authentic learning at home and in the classroom, but no material to help.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to look after your children's teeth
The costs - and pain - associated with poor oral health care has become a huge burden on families and the health system, so how can parents get it right for their kids, and encourage good dental habits that last into their later years?
Basic dental care is free in New Zealand for children from birth until they turn 18.
But there are thousands of children currrently on waiting lists for dental t
How to talk to your children about conflict and war
It can be hard to avoid what's going on in the world right now, including for children. How can parents help their kids make sense of what's going on, without scaring them?Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How to talk to children about death
Whether it is a close family member, pet or someone they don't personally know, like a famous person who has died, children experience death and parents will be asked about it. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Bedtime: how to get your kids to bed without nightly drama
Parenting educator Michelle Mitchell talks about how to avoid drama at bedtime.
She says sleep is the cornerstone of kids' (and adults') health and she shares practical strategies to take the battle out of bedtime.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How pre-schoolers can misunderstand adults - and how to help
In parenting today - we've all seen a full pre-schooler in full meltdown mode. Sometimes that's because they're tired or hungry - or even hangry. But it can also be because they've misunderstood what adults are saying. Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright says there are common ways the pre-schoolers can misunderstand what grown-ups are saying. He joins Kathryn to explain how p
Raising literacy among boys - one principal's secret
New Zealand isn't the only country to be concerned about falling student literacy rates and the gender gap in academic performance. New Australian research suggests that boys are twice as likely to be at the bottom in literacy and more likely to fall behind once they reach secondary school. But one boys' high school in North Sydney has defied those odds. Once one of the lowest ranked schools in th
Tips and tricks for parenting a strong-willed child
Many parents will remember the 'terrible twos' - when your toddler turns into a tiny tyrant whose favourite word is 'no!'.
But what happens when they're a little bit older, but still tending toward being stubborn? What's under-lying the behaviour coming from a strong-willed child?
And how can parents adjust their expectations and reactions cope with it?
Jenny Hale is one of Parenting Place's Se
The challenges and triumphs of solo motherhood
There are a lot of books on parenting, but very few about what happens when you suddenly find yourself doing it on your own. This was the experience of Australian author and podcaster Rachel Maksimovic. She became a solo mum when she was just 20 weeks' pregnant - and among the financial and career challenges it brought - there were a host of other, unexpected things. That prompted her to start her
How to talk to children about keeping safe, without freaking them out
An attempted abduction of a child outside an Auckland primary school earlier this week has many parents wondering about the best way to talk to children about keeping safe. How much information should parents give children about potential dangers to them? And how? Clinical Psychologist and mother of three Jacqui Maguire has some tips and tricks.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Separating parents: mediation to stay out of court
Jill Goldson has spent decades working as a mediator with separating parents, together with their children. As well as running thousands of mediations, she's advised government policy on family law, and is a researcher. Jill Goldson's grounding principle is that child-inclusive work with families can make it better for everyone. She says a nationwide fully funded mediation service is available to
What 13-year-olds feel about school, teachers and friendships
New data from NZ's largest ongoing cohort study - the Growing Up in New Zealand longitudinal study - shows social connections and caring teachers are top of the list for 13-year-olds when talking about school life. They particularly want time and space to develop meaningful social connections with their peers. Bullying remains a major concern, but kids are well aware of the bullying risks on platf
How to do co-parenting well
Clinical psychologist Tiffany Rochester says parents going through a separation usually have the same priority: ensuring their children's wellbeing.
But she says it’s important for parents to get the right support at the right time, in order to create peaceful two-home families where their children flourish.
Tiffany Rochester specialises in working with co-parents.
She is coming to New Zealand
The transition to fatherhood: joys and challenges
An Australian study has found guilt and feelings of being ill-equipped for parenthood are commonplace for new fathers. Co-author is Norma Barrett from Deakin University in Victoria.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
You are good enough: Alice Peel's message for kids
Primary teacher and co-founder of a mental health venture, Alice Peel, says it's ok for children to feel low from time to time. She wants kids to understand the feeling is normal , and that there are tools to deal with those moments. Her new book lays out the science of the brain and replaces parts with animals - making brain functions easier to understand and remember for children. Topics includ
Getting your kids through sports trials
How can parents get their children through the anxiety, the disappointment or what comes after a successful sports trial? How can parents get their children through the anxiety, the disappointment or what comes after a successful sports trial?Sport New Zealand says non-selection from trials can be a huge blow to children's confidence and can even lead them to give up a sport altogether.It say
Tools to support teen mental health
Making sense of behaviour, building meaningful routines and de-escalating high conflict moments are all key tools parents can use when wanting to support their teens' mental health.
Psychologist Andrea Temkin-Yu who has written a guide for parents wanting to work on their relationship with their teen.
She is a specialist in parent-focused intervention to help young people with their mental heal
What's up with our boys? Big Buddy's co-CEO shares his thoughts
Steve Sobota is the co-CEO of an organisation called Big Buddy, and has been matching boys without a dad in their life with positive male role models for nearly 25 years.
We know that boys' achievement at school has been lagging behind girls, and that boys are more at risk of behavioural issues and mental health issues.
So what can be done to help support boys as they grow to adulthood?
Steve h
After school activities - how much is too much?
Term one of the school year is in full swing and with it the after school activities. But how much is too much? And how can parents judge that? Maggie Dent is known as the 'Queen of Commonsense Parenting' and is a former high school teacher, mother of four sons and the host of the ABC podcast Parental as Anything. Maggie says if the activity is being driven by the parent, the benefits disappearGo
My child has a lisp: should I be worried?
Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright talks about children and lisps. What is a lisp, and when should a parent become concerned?Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
How early attachment impacts adult relationships
Neuroscience educator and parenting coach Nathan Wallis talks about how early attachment can impact adult relationships. He says the first 1000 days, plays a critical role in defining later outcomes for our children and for their future. Nathan features in a new Australian documentary Seen which explores the importance of personal healing for parents on parenting and its impact on child brain deve
Paediatrician Leila Masson on children's health from A to Z
What's the best way to keep children healthy - and how can you help them when things go wrong?
Paediatrician Dr Leila Masson has spent over 25 years working with kids considering these very issues - she specialises in nutritional and environmental medicine.Footnote: In this interview, Dr Masson referred to apples being “covered in pesticides” and recommended that the fruit be washed. A 2010 study
Tips for achieving peace around the Christmas table
'Tis the season for visits to and from family and sometimes it's not always smooth sailing. Jenny Hale from Parenting Place says the grandparent / parent dynamic can be difficult to navigate over the holiday season. Whether it's grandad who won't stop handing out the lollies, or grandma going overboard on the gifts. It could be a clash of parenting styles, or a battle for old and new Christmas tr
What to do if your child has a 'toxic friend'
What should parents do when they're concerned their child has a mean or 'toxic' friend?Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Being the best dad you can be
While many fathers naturally grow into the job of dad, some new fathers are uncertain what their role should be and how they can best parent their child.
Research shows that having an engaged and nurturing father is one of the greatest assets a child can have.
Parenting coach and education consultant Joseph Driessen shares his thoughts on becoming the best dad you can be.Go to this episode on rn
Understanding self-obsessed, defiant and unmotivated teens
Neuroscience educator and parenting coach Nathan Wallis says if your teenager seems self-obsessed, defiant and unmotivated, you're not alone. He says understanding the changes that are happening for your teen can help parents navigate these important and formative years.
Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Does your child really understand what you're saying?
Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright talks with Susie Ferguson about developing comprehension in toddlers and when to be concerned if understanding, speaking and learning do not seem to be coming easily.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Protecting children from harmful online content
Jo Robertson is a therapist, educator and researcher. Earlier this year, she and others presented a petition to parliament - signed by over 10,000 - calling for internet service providers to strengthen filters on all illegal sexual behaviour. This afternoon, she'll appear before a select committee to submit in person. She talks with Susie about legislation changes she wants to see. She also discus
Baby-caregiver attachment
Clinical psychologist Jacqui Maguire discusses how baby-parent attachment shapes infant brain development. During infancy - emotion, cognition and behaviour is all part of a developing brain. New research shows that how parents, or caregivers interact with babies not only affects development, but can shape a child's future health, both socially and emotionally. Jacqui has some advice on how to nu
When kids want to quit sport or other activities
What is the right way to deal with your kids wanting to quit a sport or an extracurricular activity?
Whether it's their first year doing it, or they've been working at it for a decade, it can be a difficult territory for parents and kids to navigate.
Sport NZ surveys show kids from 5 to 11 are usually the most active participants in sport, while there is a big dropoff once they reach ages 15 to
Parenting: how to talk about body image issues with teenagers
When it comes to body image, it's near impossible to escape pressures to look a certain way - and teenagers especially vulnerable to it.
Even with body positive movements in recent years, relentless messaging from the fashion industry and social media it still taking a toll.
But how can you tell if it's something your teenager is struggling with?
And and what's the best way to approach a conver
Fostering creativity in children
We're looking at what creativity is, why it is important and also how it is not just a preserve of the arts.
Kathryn's guest is Mark Osborne - he set up Leading Learning which covers a range of educational services including leadership development and mentoring, curriculum development and creating innovative learning environments. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details
Building a love of the outdoors in young children
Shoshannah Shand's second child was six weeks old when she took her on an overnight tramp for the first time - along with her toddler. The Christchurch solo mum of two has thousands of followers on social media for her adventures with her children. She says kids love the outdoors, and she wants parents to know that getting into the backcountry is do-able.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more de
How to get your children to do stuff
This may sound like living in Utopia - getting your children to tidy their rooms, eat vegetables, the list goes on.
Christiane Kehoe is a researcher of child behaviour based at the University of Melbourne, and also the co-author of the Tuning in to Toddlers, Tuning in to Kids, and Tuning in to Teens parenting programmes.
She shares some parenting strategies and tips to avert friction.Go to this
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