No Straight Answers
An agony-aunt podcast where hosts Clayton and Suran, with thirty years of friendship and almost a century of life experience but zero relevant training, dive into dilemmas and conundrums. Each week they tackle big, small, and ridiculous questions—from parenting meltdowns and partner clashes to dopamine addiction, workplace disasters, and midlife crushes—always with humour, honesty, and no straight answers.
Episodes
Geriatric I.T., Making Love, and the Haughty Slag #8 Season 2
It's the Season 2 finale!Jo from Wellington has become the unofficial IT support for her 85-year-old mother, who has early-stage dementia. Clayton and Suran get into the funny side and the heartbreak of caregiving, the way anger about a malfunctioning device is rarely actually about the device, and how you keep showing up for someone you love without losing yourself in the process. Private Pet
Affairs, Accidental Tinder and Moments of Joy #7 Season 2
This week Clayton and Suran go back and forth with two letters about situations that are COMPLICATED.Mark has been having an affair for nearly three years. His partner says she'll leave her husband when the time is right, when things settle, when the kids are more stable. Will it ever happen though...A senior leader writes in about an accidental Tinder swipe. She matched with someone junior to
Faking It, Losing a Mate, and a Boner Story #6 Season 2
This episode deals directly with suicide and suicide bereavement. If that's not where you're at today, give yourself permission to sit this one out or come back to it when you're ready. Support details at the end of these notes.Clayton and Suran are back, and this week they cover a lot of ground. Millie is 47, happily partnered, and has been quietly faking orgasms to end sex when she's tired -- no
A Handshake, a Half-Sister, and Running with the Bulls #5 Season 2
Clayton and Suran are back, and this week the co-parenting wars come to the hockey pitch. Fraser's wife is a Black Sticks player with strong opinions about sportsmanship. Fraser thinks his eight-year-old was mid-cry and in pain. Both of them are a little bit right, which is the most annoying possible outcome.Then Vickie has found her biological half-sister Donna, they get on brilliantly, and she i
Swearing, Porn, and Your Boss Seeing Your Browser History #4 Season 2
Clayton and Suran are back, and this week things get a little ungodly. A listener writes in about the person she becomes the moment she gets behind the wheel, she's calm, patient, reasonable by day; full swears unleashed the second someone pulls out in front of her car. Her seven year old heard everything then went home and repeated it to Dad...Then there's the story of a houseguest who accidental
Ethical Vegetables, Dating in Grief, and a Hooters Trophy #3 Season 2
Clayton and Suran are back and, if anything, sitting on the fence even more than last time. Sarah has a problem: her favourite fruit and veg shop has the best produce in the neighbourhood, and possibly some employment law concerns. She doesn't want to shop at Shein, but is Dave at the corner dairy actually the same thing? What can one customer do? Then Benjamin writes in four months after losing h
Transgender Kids, Pass-Ag Bosses, and Prince Alberts #2 Season 2
Clayton and Suran are back and already proving their ineptitude. A parent writes in about their child coming out as transgender - the love is not in question, but the grief is real and they're struggling to process it all.David has a problem with his boss's email sign-off. "Thanks for your cooperation." Four patronizing, authoritarian words. Worth saying something or not?In the AMA, Suran reveals
Losing Friends, Lighting Candles, and a Long Overdue Return #1 Season 2
Clayton and Suran are back after six months away, with updates, a new puppy, and the usual inability to give a straight answer about anything.Matt quit drinking two years ago and hasn't looked back - except at his social life, which quietly disappeared along with the bottles. It turns out a lot of his friendships were basically just shared drinking habits, and now he's 51 and starting over. How do
Mortality, Exes and Gay Awakenings #8
It’s our final episode of the season, and we’re going deep even though we promised not to.👉 Our first letter writer is lying awake at night thinking about death, ageing parents, and creaky knees. Is midlife just one long existential crisis, or can we make peace with the fact that we’re all slowly composting?👉 Dave loves his new girlfriend - but not her ex, who’s still watering the plants, popping
Teen Sex, Perimenopause, and Everything In Between #7
This week, it gets a little steamy as both of our letters are about sex. Expect unhelpful advice, mild moral panic, and at least one moment where Clayton looks like he wants to crawl under the desk.👉 Anxious Amanda writes about her 15-year-old son and his 14-year-old girlfriend - who are, let’s just say, not reading books together. She’s letting them be intimate under her roof because it feels saf
Book Clubs, Bitter Exes & Undesirable Traits #6
This week we’re tackling wine-fuelled book clubs and the headache of co-parenting gone wrong. Expect unhelpful answers, a little righteous indignation, and an AMA that exposes just how soft we really are under all the tough talk (we know, there's no tough talk...).👉 Frustrated in Auckland writes about her book club of middle-aged mums that’s turned into less “literary discussion” and more “wine-an
Assisted Dying, Conspiracy Theories and Never Askers #5
This week we’re diving into the world of conspiracy theories and the heartbreak of end-of-life choices. Expect unhelpful answers, a few tears, inappropriate giggles, and an AMA that will probably reveal too much about both of us.👉 A listener writes from Grey Lynn about a friend whose obsession with fringe conspiracies has gone from Bill Gates’ “microchips” to Paul McCartney being replaced in 1966.
Text Blunders, Bullying and Gender Swapping for a Day #4
This week we’re tackling the blurred line between banter and bullying — in schools and workplaces. Expect unhelpful answers, bad 90s flashbacks, and an AMA that goes places it probably shouldn’t (Clayton becomes a giggly teenager).👉 A parent writes in about their 11-year-old son who’s being teased, taunted, and even left stranded without his schoolbag. The teachers say they’ll “keep an eye on it,”
Gaslighting, Ghosting and Giggling Till You Cry #3
Welcome to Episode 3 of No Straight Answers — the podcast where we workshop your predicaments and dilemmas with maximum empathy and minimum usefulness.We kick off with highs and lows, updates on the Christchurch comedy scene, and some hard truths about social media. Then it’s time for your letters:👉 A listener questions whether his marriage has crossed from “normal rough patch” into gaslighting te
Extra Marital Kisses, ADHD Wives & Middle-Aged Boozing #2
Clayton and Suran are back with more fence-sitting advice, inappropriate laughter, and just enough honesty to make you wonder if we should be trusted with your dilemmas.We start with highs and lows - milestone birthdays, party chaos, and the joy/pain of being back in offices and airports again.Then onto two listener letters:Letter 1 — The Goodbye Kiss Conundrum:Greg from Huntsbury writes in about
Screens, Sanity and Micro-Managing Bosses #1
Welcome to No Straight Answers — the fence-sitting advice show where we explore your predicaments with curiosity, compassion and a few questionable ideas.In this debut, Suran and Clayton trade highs and lows, then tackle two listener letters:Letter 1 — The Screen-Time Standoff:When one parent rage-bans devices, what actually helps? We talk dopamine and transitions (hugs, timers, trampolines), neut
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