How To Have Sex
How To Have Sex is the sex education you never got at school, and have been quietly winging ever since. Hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. One very curious host and one expert who actually knows the answers. Every episode tackles a real topic: how to improve your sex life, how to talk about intimacy without killing the mood, how to have better orgasms, how to spice things up in a long-term relationship. Shame-free, refreshingly practical, and occasionally so mortifying you'll need to pause it. New episodes weekly.
Episodes
How To Bring Your Fantasies To Life
Turns out almost everyone has a fantasy they've never told a single soul. This week Jay-Jay and sex & relationship coach Mel Vranjes get into sexual fantasies; what's actually going on underneath them, why just talking about one can be almost as hot as living it out, and how to bring it up with your partner without causing a small relationship earthquake.Mel shares the research on the most com
How To Initiate Sex
Ever wanted to make the first move and just… froze? Initiating is one of the most vulnerable things we do, and almost nobody talks about how hard it is.This week Jay-Jay Feeney and somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into how to initiate sex without the fear of rejection: why it can feel scarier than the sex itself, how to handle a "no" without spiralling, and the tiny shifts th
How to Explore Beginner-Friendly BDSM
BDSM. Two seconds after hearing that word, most people picture whips, chains, leather, and some kind of expensive basement situation. (Just me? Okay, just me.)This week, certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down what BDSM actually is — and spoiler: it's a much wider, far less terrifying spectrum than you think.We cover:What BDSM really means (and what it definitely d
How To Keep Porn From Replacing Intimacy
Porn. We're going there. Whether you watch it, your partner watches it, or you've never really thought about it, this episode is the honest, shame-free conversation you didn't know you needed.Jay-Jay and Mel explore why porn is so wildly popular, what your search history might (and might not) say about you, and the real question nobody asks: is your porn use helping, or quietly replacing intimacy
How To Actually Get Your Needs Met In Bed (Without Killing The Mood)
Asking for what you want in bed might be the scariest thing you never do. Scarier than being naked. Scarier than asking for a pay rise. And for a lot of us, we'd rather go along with it, fake it, or hope they read our minds.In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real reason we go quiet in the bedroom, and what to do about it.You'll l
How to Self-Pleasure (and Why it Will Change Your Partnered Sex Life)
Did you know your solo sex life is literally the foundation of your partnered sex life?In this episode, Jay-Jay finally figures out why this topic makes her want to crawl under the duvet and never come out, and it's more relatable than you'd think.Certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down everything women were never taught about self-pleasure: where the shame actuall
How to Butt Play (Without Making it Weird or Scary)
Anal play. Butt stuff. The backdoor. Whatever you call it, more people are curious than will ever admit it. So this week, Jay-Jay and Mel are going there. Literally.Certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes joins a very nervous, very clenching Jay-Jay Feeney to unpack everything about anal and butt play, for all bodies and all genders. From the biology, to the beginner steps, to the stu
How to Have Earth Shattering Orgasms
Earth-shattering. It sounds ambitious, but Mel reckons it's not only possible, it's absolutely learnable. And it has nothing to do with performing, faking it, or wondering if you're taking too long.This week Jay-Jay and Mel go deep on orgasms; what they actually are, why they feel different depending on where they happen in your body, and why so many of us have been getting in our own way this who
How to Enhance Your Sex Life with Erotic Activities
This might be our most hilarious episode yet.In this episode of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes set out to talk about erotic activities, erotic energy, and how to bring more play, anticipation and aliveness into your sex life… and somewhere along the way, things descend into absolute chaos. There are tears. There is wheezing. There is a completely u
How to Navigate Low Libido in Pregnancy and Sex Postpartum (Mel’s Story)
Pregnancy can change everything.. your body, your hormones, your relationship to pleasure, and the way you feel about s*x. In this deeply personal episode of How To Have S*x, Mel opens up about her first pregnancy, when she lost her libido at 15 weeks, stopped wanting s*x, and even lost the ability to have the internal org*sms she once loved. Jay-Jay and Mel talk honestly about what happens when
How to Dirty Talk (Without Dying of Embarrassment)
Dirty talk makes Jay-Jay want to crawl under the bed and disappear… so naturally, that’s exactly what this episode is about.In this episode of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes tackle one of the most cringe-inducing parts of intimacy: saying sexy things out loud without dissolving into laughter. If the thought of dirty talk makes you want to do your t
How to Give World-Class Head
WATCH THE UNCENSORED VIDEO HERE: https://hthspodcast.substack.com/p/uncensored-video-how-to-give-worldTalking about oral sex makes Jay-Jay wildly uncomfortable… which is exactly why this episode had to happen.In this lesson of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get very practical about what makes oral sex actually feel good for everyone. This is not ab
Foreplay (Get into Bed with Jay-Jay & Mel)
Welcome to How To Have Sex ... the podcast giving everyday New Zealanders the practical tools to have better, more confident, more satisfying sex lives.Before we get into the good stuff, we're starting where all great sex starts: foreplay. This episode is your introduction to hosts Jay-Jay Feeney - veteran NZ broadcaster, podcaster, and self-confessed awkward sex-talker, and Melissa Vranjes, certi
How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life
What actually separates good sex from great sex? Spoiler: it's not the positions, the toys, or the techniques.In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real foundations of hot sex, and it turns out most of us have been thinking about it completely wrong. Mel introduces her erotic mind mapping method, breaks down the three types of desire (and why m
WE ARE COMING!
One’s a sex coach. The other one’s awkward.Both are getting into bed to talk about it.How to Have Sex is hosted by Jay-Jay Feeney — one of New Zealand’s most recognisable voices — and Melissa Vranjes, a holistic sex & relationship coach and somatic therapist.Jay-Jay has the questions you’re too shy to ask.Melissa has the answers (and the experience).From world-class head to low libido, orgasms
